I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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