Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
