He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
