So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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