Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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