I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
