her vagine was all disorganized.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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