How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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