why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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