the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
