you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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