People in love make me want to vomit
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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