Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
