I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
