mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize