i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
