One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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