is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He shit in the fireplace
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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