Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
