I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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