it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
