Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
