Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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