I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
