dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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