I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
