no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
