so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
