come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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