do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
