Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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