In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
