your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
