T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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