Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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