How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
