508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
