Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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