Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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