please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
