No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
