why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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