Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
