I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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