How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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