I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
