you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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