I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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