You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
