so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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