When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OPIZZABONMYDICK
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
